Got engaged on Friday – wahey!
But only after the usual Hogarth style wind up.
Just couldn’t resist.
My now fiancée Laura and I were in her lounge all done up for a big fancy shin dig, we were going to, with her family and friends.
I told her I needed a serious chat – she looked worried.
‘Laura I want to have a great night tonight but I need to let you know that this boyfriend/girlfriend thing isn’t really working out for me…’
(Her face dropped. She thought I was breaking up with her.)
I then got down on one knee.
‘…I’d prefer it if we were husband and wife’.
Asshole! (I could see her thinking).
In less than 10 seconds she’d gone from utter dejection (and probably wanting to kill me) to total elation.
Bit of a cruel joke I admit but she’s got a great sense of humour so did see the funny side and said YES!
Here’s the thing though.
Myself and Laura have both been through heartbreak before and when things go to shit in your life or with your weight then you can become protective against it happening again so either
You don’t put yourself out there for fear of being shot down.
You adopt the attitude of ‘think the worst and anything else is a bonus’.
You think you don’t deserve happiness because anytime you achieve it feels like you then sabotage your efforts.
^^^That’s what Caroline admitted to herself when she took on my honesty challenge.
‘’I self sabotage every good intention I have. I have no self belief because I look back on how well I did 3 years ago and good I looked and then I look to today!
And it’s all my own fault so why would I believe in myself? I have no confidence going into the gym as I feel people look at me & say ‘god that’s Caroline from 3 years ago – what the hell did she do to herself?’
Before I felt like I deserved to feel great when I lost weight, lost 2 dress sizes and felt as if I could take on the world in the gym.
Now I see this fat person in the mirror and I don’t know who she is? I’m so disappointed in her it hurts.’’
The ‘I don’t deserve this’ story is one which Caroline is working on changing.
Rather than quitting when you aren’t losing weight or when you regain some, I’m challenging you to ask yourself what the biggest story is that you need to change to see a real breakthrough with your results?
^^Same question if you’ve been through big break up like we have
Gavin ‘chancing my luck’ Hogarth
P.S Here’s a few other examples of stories that FBF members admit to telling themselves and have now set about changing at Fit Body Farm…
‘I go to the gym so I can get away with eating what I want’
‘I’ll just have one bad blow out before starting fresh on Monday’
‘I don’t really mind being like this’ (when you know you actually to mind)
Now write yours down and look remind yourself of them frequently so you don’t keep trudging along the same path.Dump